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Profiles
Putin poisons rivals, invades Ukraine, and builds billion-dollar palaces. He rigs votes to rule forever while flexing shirtless for cameras. The KGB spy hoards $200 billion as Russians fight his endless wars.
Our populist communist GOAT
Right wing, former Blackrock executive hell bent on making Germany a worse place.
Tulsi Gabbard’s résumé looks like a Russian mad-lib. She went from “progressive darling” to Moscow’s favorite “useful idiot,” parroting biolab myths like she’s reading from a Kremlin teleprompter. As DNI, she’s not leading intelligence; she’s just an unencrypted file transfer for Putin. Aloha to your security clearance, Comrade.
Hemedti is a warlord who rebranded the genocidal Janjaweed as a private army to hold Sudan hostage. He traded camel trading for gold smuggling and ethnic cleansing, turning Darfur into a graveyard twice over. For a man claiming to fight for "democracy," he sure relies on a lot of massacres.
Kim Jong Un is a third-generation inheritance hire masquerading as a god. He prioritizes nuclear vanity projects over a starving populace, managing a high-tech prison state where dissent is a death sentence. To hide his fragility, he purges military brass and executes rivals, ruling only through paranoia and ballistic theater.
Khamenei’s "Supreme" status is a fragile facade held together by ballistic missiles and a brutal surveillance apparatus. He’s crippled Iran’s economy to fund regional proxies, sacrificing a generation’s prosperity for a dying theocratic dream. By purging moderates and crushing dissent, he’s not leading a nation—he’s just managing its hostage crisis.
Stephen Miller is a walking thumb with a spray-on hairline and a soul like a dry-cleaned shroud. A low-budget Rasputin who traded empathy for white nationalist fever dreams, he radiates the chilling warmth of a morgue. He didn't just architect cruelty; he made "unlikable" his entire personality and brand.
Xi Jinping’s leadership is a masterclass in insecurity. He spends billions on a digital panopticon to stalk his own citizens, yet he’s so terrified of his own shadow that he purges the military brass every Tuesday. When you’re this busy hunting "corruption" and dissidents, everyone knows you’re just hiding the cracks.
Bus driver Maduro dreamed his way to power then drove Venezuela off a cliff. Inflation at 1.7 million percent, millions flee, but he claims the CIA is his countries biggest enemy. He stole elections, sold gold oil and cocaine. Eventually was taken out on a midnight raid. Socialism for suckers, luxury for Narco Nico.
Pete Hegseth: Army vet turned Fox drunk who cheated his way to three wives. Pocketed $462k vet donor cash, hid booze on set, and NDA'd a rape claim. Trump wants this scandal clown running wars.
33 felony counts and one insurrection later, the spray-tanned "God-King" still treats the White House like a family ATM. From Epstein’s jets to the skin-crawling Stern quotes about "liking them young," his character is as bankrupt as his casinos. Now he’s eyeing a "forever" term, proving he’s not a leader, just a lifelong griftr who thinks the presidency is a shield for his crimes.
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Feb 9, 2026
