Crime

Jeffrey Epstein

Epstein conned his way from dropout teacher to billionaire pimp. He flew Clinton on the Lolita Express and stole mansions from underwear moguls. Justice gave him a wrist slap until he "committed suicide" in jail. Oh yeah, we never got to see WHO WAS IN THE FILES

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Bondi's Bondage

Epstein the Russian Asset

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Pablo Escobar

Built a cocaine empire worth $30 billion, then wondered why people kept trying to kill him. Called himself "Robin Hood" for building soccer fields in slums—while murdering 4,000 people to protect the business that destroyed his country. Ran for Congress because even drug lords crave legitimacy. He also hippos as pets... that's just cool.

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